Here’s an update, it’ll be not so short and a little less than sweet.
Writing has taken a back seat…
Years ago I came into the world of writing guns blazing ready to be the next King or Rowlings. That determination felt wonderful! An accomplishment towards a goal with each sentence written, along the way I met so many others with shared inspirations, a community all helping to build each other up.
Then things got real.
ACN made it’s debut to a small audience, and I was over the moon, filled with every joyous pun out there for my audience. I dove in head first, into publishing, editing, advice, cover design. We started recording Indie Beginning, a podcast dedicated to the works of indie authors. The list of authors wanting a feature grew almost out of control through our 2020 calendar. I went on tour, smiling through numerous events, meeting people hearing about their great book ideas, loving every single second of it. Not caring that book sales went from a small amount that didn’t quite cover expenses to a zero filed every single quarter.
All of sudden it became daunting, by the release of SL my passion became a chore. It was no longer fun and exciting, it was red tape and missed deadlines. Indie Beginning became something that everyone wanted to be part of, only if it meant they didn’t have to actually do something besides hit the submission button.
My own writing started to fall short. I thought it was the genre, characters, or plot of the series hindering my goal. So I wrote something I’ve never tasted before. And I was happy…again.
Until reviews came back. As much as I adore my beta readers, their opinions only confirmed one thing.
I shouldn’t write.
I shouldn’t write about things I don’t live.
I should stick to my day job, a place that has turned me into someone I loathe.
I walked away, with both Another Word for Ledge and The Brink of Almost (the final two books in the ACN Series) sitting ignored on the my computer screen. Instead of opening Word Documents I turned to what I always do when thinking, depressed, stressed, or bored. I started focusing on decluttering and cleaning. Removing items from my life that no longer serve a purpose, or bring me a sense of calm and joy. Nights were spent scrubbing every single nook and cranny in our 1600 sq. ft. home, instead of recording the next episode of the podcast or adding description to Aylin’s day.
For months…I did this FOR MONTHS. Thinking, evaluating, getting a little more depressed, or stressed with each bag taken to Goodwill.
Then, it happened. The light bulb went off. I had always lived a more minimalist lifestyle, my father says he can remember my minimalism starting early in my childhood with toys and things I would collect, or not collect. He recalled empty shelves sitting in my room ever since I was a little girl, or the neat pride I had in the items I did choose to display.
There it is…the something I know. This time though, I am taking my time, not setting unrealistic expectation or unreachable goals.
I am taking things slow, starting a YouTube channel dedicated to my lifestyle, cleaning, purging, cooking, and living a full life with a house of men who don’t share in minimalism. All on my terms; not other person’s expectations. At my own pace.
I promise you, int hose videos I am very awkward, not put together, even behind a camera, all by myself I get stage fright…which if you ask my boys is hilarious to watch as I fumble through openings and closings.
That’s ok, I found my passion again. This is my second nature. Through research I noticed a pattern of SAHM (stay at home moms) who thrive creating these videos…well…that’s not me. I don’t have cute little toddlers running about with a broom or a sippy. I’m a working middle aged woman, who’s children are off living their own lives whether it be through careers, college, or starting their own families. I am the face for all those SAHM YouTubers. Life After Boys…what life after children will be. It wasn’t discouraging, it was uplifting. I am now exactly where I am meant to be.
Eventually, I may change this site into Life After Boys, not today….but one day.
You can feel free to follow this new path by subscribing to Life After Boys
As for ACN and my journey as an Author- I still whole heartedly adore Catch and Aylin, I still daydream out their daily lives while scrubbing dishes. Their story is far from over. They are just on sabbatical right now.